napkinless man with grease-covered fingers realizes he trapped in a prison of his own creation - absorbent sheet
Lamenting his lack of foresight and preparation, choosing to eat a full roast chicken wing without proper supply of wiping materials, 32-year-old dinner Eddie schumbert sat in the kitchen on Tuesday staring down at his grease
When he realized that he was trapped in the prison he had created, he covered his fingers.
"What did I do?
A visibly upset Schubert said he looked at the room and looked for any paper towels, paper towels or water-sucking paper that might free him from sticky sauce ties, which left him powerless.
"I forged these chains alone, and now I have paid a high price for my foolish recklessness with greasy coins.
My only choice is to break freedom with anything but my wisdom, or simply give myself to a difficult fate, and by doing so, it will perish.
It is not yet known whether it is necessary for Schubert to make a final sacrifice, to wipe his hands on his pants, to sacrifice his favorite jeans, but to be free.